


Two Years

by godzawa



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: College AU, M/M, broken relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 03:33:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7343092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godzawa/pseuds/godzawa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p>Two years, six months, three weeks, and four days. That's how long it has been since Sehun walked out of Kai's life without even so much as a goodbye.</p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	Two Years

**Author's Note:**

> basically 9,000 words of angst and some smut, #sorrynotsorry  
>  prequel for baekyeol [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7343251)

Two years, six months, three weeks, and four days. That’s how long it's been since he left. Kai kept track of how much time went by. You’d think by now he'd be able to get over it already, but Kai could never forget about him.   

He tried dating for a while too. There were a few nice guys that he could see himself falling for easily once upon a time, but not now.   

He took all of Kai’s love and left nothing behind.  

No one could ever have such a tight death grip over his beating heart like he did.   

The asshole’s name was Oh Sehun. Kai met him in a dance class at uni. He never even saw Sehun coming. He popped up out of nowhere and took over Kai’s life with his hypnotic gaze and secret smiles. Sehun loved to give Kai these special smiles that no one ever got to see.  

Kai thought that Sehun had fallen for him too, but obviously he didn't or else he would have never left.   
Two years into their relationship he just disappeared. Kai woke up in a bed by himself with the other half made and all of Sehun’s things gone. It destroyed him. The light left Kai’s eyes and he stopped dancing completely. How could he dance when he was missing a piece of himself?  

Since then its been two years, six months, three weeks, and four days, and every day still hurts just as much as the last.  

Today was no different than any other. Kai woke up to find his roommates Chanyeol and Jongdae making a disaster in their kitchen with breakfast. The pair were dangerous together, but they always meant well. Kai probably wouldn’t even be alive if those two hadn’t been there to take care of him and keep him sane.  

“Morning.” Chan grumbled while focusing on not burning his omelet. Jongdae mumbled the same over a cup of coffee and Kai hummed in response. They all sat at the table and ate the omelets Chanyeol placed out (all three a little over cooked) and ate in silence. That was the nice part with them, Kai never had to force himself to be something he’s not. Words and niceties weren’t required for Chanyeol and Jongdae, they just accepted Kai as he was.   

“I heard the dance program has a big line up of shows this year.” Jongdae said with his eyes casting over to Kai, “I’m sure they’re dying to have you again.”  

Since quitting dance, Chanyeol and Jongdae always try to talk Kai into joining again. Even two years into his psychology degree they still hadn’t given up.  

“That’s nice.” was all he replied, taking the last bite of the omelet as he did.   

Neither of his roommates brought up the topic again. They went out for the day, Chanyeol on his way to work and Jongdae school, and Kai shuffled off the ready himself for his class later in the day.   

He ended up on campus two hours later in dark washed jeans and a simple gray V-neck. Kai used to style his hair, different colors and hair cuts, but he didn't enough cared to do anything with his hair in a long time. It was just a mess of dark brown on his head now.  

Kai slumped outside of his math class like any other day and let his eyes fall.  

Sehun’s face was tattooed to the back of his eye lids. Whenever his eyes closed he could see that perfect face, all smooth features and that ridiculous small smile he always carried on his lips.  

Thinking about Sehun could still make him cry, but all the tears had long since run out.  

He hated that asshole with everything he had, but he also still loved him.  

Kai could have leaned against the wall thinking about Sehun all day if a voice didn’t interrupt his thoughts. “You awake?”   

Popping an eye open, A short brunette entered his field of vision. The guy with the intense puppy eyes standing in front of Kai happened to be Byun Baekhyun.   

Byun was Chanyeol’s loud mouthed little twink of a boyfriend that was way too vocal during sex. Kai couldn’t even count the amount of times he had to bang against the wall and yell at them to shut the fuck up.  

Despite Byun being a little shit, he also happened to be another of Kai’s friends.  

“No, go away.” Kai’s eyes slid closed again, but Byun smacked his arm before he could get comfortable again. “Don’t be an ass Kai.”  

He chuckled lightly and stood up straight. No one could ignore Baekhyun, it was like ignoring an attention hogging dog.  

“I finally found a new roommate.” Byun informed Kai, “This tall blonde guy that goes here. It feels so awkward living with a stranger again.” His lips formed into one of those cute little pouts, the kind that drove Chanyeol absolutely mental.  

“There’s actually someone out there willing to put up with your shit? Damn I feel bad for them.” and like that Kai felt a punch in his right arm. “Ow!” He whined and rubbed the spot while Byun glared at him.   
“Now as I was going to say before you rudely interrupted me, I want you Chan and Jongdae to come over tonight to meet him. I kind of don’t want to be alone with him on the first night, he’s got this cold gaze that freaks me out a little.” Kai’s smile fell and he rolled his eyes.  

He couldn’t help but whine, “Why do I have to go?”   

Byun placed his hands on his hips and Kai knew he had lost the argument already. “Because Chanyeol coming alone would be weird, and if Jongdae comes who knows what weird things you do when you’re by yourself for long periods of time.”  

“This is so unfair.” Kai folded his arms and huffed.  

“Too bad baby boy, you’re not getting out of it.”  

He and Byun went into their class after that and went their separate ways after.   

Kai made his way back home and decided a nap was well deserved if he had any plans of surviving a night at Baekhyun’s chaotic apartment.    
     
———   
     
_“You’ll never get it right if you don’t give yourself a break Kai.” Sehun sat by the mirrored wall and watched Kai practice his new dance routine over and over. He’d been working for three hours straight and he still couldn’t master the last move before the song ended._

_“No I’m fine, I almost got it.” Kai pushed back his sweat soaked hair. He had no thoughts of stopping until he mastered everything._

_Sehun looked so annoyed with him in that moment, his eyebrows drawn together and an unpleasant look ruling his eyes. He never worried about perfection like Kai did. Sehun didn’t see the point in obsessing over the small things._

_Kai envied the way Sehun could brush off mistakes like he meant for them to happen._

_“No you’re not.” Sehun stood and grasped Kai by the shoulders, “You look like you’re about to pass out and you’ve already changed three times.” Their eyes met and Kai could already feel his resolve failing. “Let's just call it a day okay?”_

_Kai fell forward into Sehun’s arms, all his protests dying in his throat. They had been dating for two months now, but it still wasn’t official. Kai constantly worried if Sehun was seeing anyone else besides him. It’s not like they were exclusive right?_

_He knew the only reason he couldn’t nail that last move was because his head was too clouded to think straight. All he thought about was Sehun with someone else and it made him feel sick. Kai tried to ask Sehun to be his boyfriend, but Sehun avoided the topic altogether. That’s why Kai was worried there was someone else._

_Sehun’s arms wrapped around his waist easily and they stood together in the dance room for several moments without muttering a word._

_Kai could feel Sehun’s heart beating against his own and it thrilled him._

_Who did Sehun really hold in his heart?_

_Kai’s arms instinctively tightened just at the thought of Sehun being in love with someone else. Two months and Kai was already dead in love with the stupid guy._

_“As much as I love to feel your body against mine, you really need a shower.” Kai couldn’t help but laugh a little and press a kiss into Sehun’s cheek before turning around and heading for the showers._  
     
———   
Baekhyun came in an hour into Kai's nap to wake him up not so gently. “Get up dickhead, we’re leaving in ten minutes.” and left with a slam of the bedroom door.  

Kai couldn’t help but think how charming annoying Byun could be sometimes. Chanyeol sure was a lucky devil to have found a special snowflake like that. Good for him.  

He rolled over and groaned as he pulled himself from bed. Kai tried to dress decently in black skinny jeans and a navy long sleeved shirt. Baek would throw one of his bitch fits if Kai left the house in the same clothes he wore to class, something he would classify as a lazy preteen’s wardrobe.   

When Kai walked out he found Chanyeol on the couch with Baekhyun nestled into his lap and Jongdae looking at them like a third wheel. When he saw Kai he nearly died with happiness.  

“Finally, I was actually starting to get scared they would do it right on the couch in front of me.”   

A small smile opened on Kai’s lips and he laughed softly. “Let’s just go already.”  

The four of them piled into Chanyeol’s beat up old morticians car (one of those long black ones that they used to transport coffins) and drove the five minutes to Byun’s place. They could have just walked, but Baek would just complain about his damn legs the whole time.  

Byun’s new roommate wasn’t home yet so they all settled down in the living room while Baekhyun went into the kitchen to make dinner. Unlike his clueless boyfriend, Byun was actually a fairly decent cook. He made dinner for them almost every night. Before Baekhyun the three of them ate take out mostly or went out to eat somewhere. Byun nearly died when he learned that and made it his own personal mission to help them eat better.  

Chanyeol and Baekhyun met a year ago. Baekhyun thought Kai was some kind of loser at first but gradually they got along. Byun actually helped distract Kai from his depression a lot, always playing around or picking fights for fun.   

Baekhyun was probably the best thing to ever happen to Chanyeol, and they worked so well together. Kai and Jongdae couldn’t help but fall in love with Baekhyun too, despite how much of a pain in the ass he could be sometimes. They were like a little family, Chan and Baek as the parents and Kai and Jongdae as their troubled kids.  

“Dinner’s almost done, and my roommate should be home soon.” Baekhyun came into the living room and draped himself over Chanyeol. He placed a small kiss on Chan’s forehead and relaxed into him. They made Kai so envious sometimes.  

“What’s your roommates name anyway?” Jongdae directed towards Baek.  

“Uh….” Byun pursed his lips and tried to remember the name, “I can’t remember, something with an S.”   
Chanyeol blinked and looked at his boyfriend funny, “You let him live here and you don’t even know his name?”  

Byun’s cheeks reddened a little and he laughed sheepishly. “Honestly he didn’t talk much and it was kind of easy to forget his name….” Chanyeol rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around Baek’s middle. “You’re a mess babe.”  

Another small laugh bubbled in Baek’s throat and he planted a peck on Chanyeol’s nose. “I know.”   
Just as Baekhyun got up to take the dinner out of oven, they heard the jingling of keys outside. They all knew it was Baekhyun's new roommate. Kai turned around on the couch and went back to watching TV while Chanyeol and Jongdae watched the door out of curiosity.  

Chanyeol was probably worried some devastatingly handsome guy was going to walk in and he would have to fight to keep the bastard away from his precious Baekhyunnie.   

Jongdae looked just because his curiosity got the better of him. Kai found him to be one seriously nosy little git sometimes.  

Kai could hear the door open and a pair of feet shuffle in. Next to him Chanyeol stiffened. Must be good looking.   

His eyes shifted over to Jongdae and he looked cold as stone. Seeing Jongdae tense confused Kai a little. Chanyeol is understandable, but Jongdae too?   

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Chanyeol was on his feet in an instant and held the guys shirt in a clenched fist. Kai looked over in shock at first, and then his eyes settled.   

He thought his tears had dried up a long time ago, that he had no more heartbreak to give, but Kai had been wrong about that. His eyes were wet in seconds and heart pounding painfully in his chest. How. That's all that was going through his head.  

"Hey dinner is ready-," Baekhyun came out of the kitchen and broke off mid sentence once he saw Chanyeol holding his new roommate in a death grip, "Chanyeol what are you doing!" He rushed forward and tried to pull his boyfriend back, but Chanyeol stood his ground.  

"Get the fuck out, right now." Jongdae growled from behind Kai. The whole world was moving around him in slow motion. Kai felt like his healing wounds were tearing open again, but worse this time.   
Standing in the front entry with Chanyeol was Oh Sehun. The Oh Sehun that Kai was with to years ago two years, and the very same one that left him without even so much as a 'goodbye'.  

Kai stood up on weak legs and wiped furiously at his eyes before meeting Sehun's eyes. He looked exactly the same as when he left, tall and overwhelmingly handsome. His hair was an ashy color now instead of the light blonde it used to be, but other than that he looked like the same Sehun.   

They held each other's gaze for what seemed like forever. Sehun mastered hiding his emotions from a young age, but instead of his usual stone face Kai found something surprising. Sehun had tears in the line of his eyes and he looked just as devastated as Kai felt. Why was he crying? Who gave him the right to feel pain?  

Every day for Two years, six months, three weeks, and four days Kai wished for Sehun to appear in front of him again.  

Now that he was here all Kai wanted was for him to disappear again. The pain of seeing his beautiful eyes and perfect face hurt him more than any physical pain could. Countless nights he laid awake with Sehun next to him, passed out, studying those perfect features. He knew Sehun's face and body better than his own. Kai just couldn't take it.  

Without saying a single word he broke eye contact and went straight for the door. Kai swung it open and sprinted out. He could hear his name shouted behind him, but he never stopped running.  

Why is he here?  

\---   
_Kai stirred awake from soft pressure on his face. He blinked his eyes open to find Sehun hovering over him, a sleepy grin spread over his lips. He leaned down and pressed a few more kisses on Kai's face.  
"Good morning." His voice sounded so scratchy first thing in the morning, but Kai didn't mind. He rather liked his morning voice. "Morning."   _

_They were both completely naked with nothing but a thin black sheet covering their bodies. Six months into their relationship and they still had mind blowing sex more than anyone should. Kai felt like he was stuck in a happy haze. Sehun was perfect, and he was everything Kai could have asked for. With other people he acted like such an asshole, but never with Kai._

_He saved all of the tender side of himself just for Kai._

" _Chanyeol left a note on our door again." Sehun mused and picked up a piece of paper sitting beside Kai's head. Kai took it from his hands and read it silently to himself._

 

 ** _Hey asswipes, next time you decide to fuck all night please for the love of god do it quietly. I swear to god I'll get a shock collar for you two next time I can't sleep._**    
**_Not so sincerely,_**  
**_Park Chanpissed off_**  
**_(P.S. Kai move your fucking bed to the other side of room, it bangs against my wall)_**

 

_Kai nearly died of laughter after he finished the note. Poor Chanyeol, no one there to keep him busy at night. He would understand if he had someone like Sehun in his bed every night._

_Sehun fell into a fit of giggles and laid flat on top of Kai, "I think he's actually starting to lose his cool with us."_

 

\---  

 

The only source of light in the bathroom was the hallway light flashing into it. Kai came back to their apartment and tried to lay in bed, but it reminded him too much of Sehun. So he went into the dark bathroom and curled up inside of the bathtub. He cried more than he ever had in his life, even more than when sehun left. He was doing so good again. Kai hadn't been over Sehun yet, but he was getting close to being his normal self again.  

He was so numb to the world that Kai didn't even notice when someone came into the bathroom and turned on the light.   

Chanyeol came in first and nealed down next to the tub. Jongdae followed behind him with a bottle of some kind of alcohol. "Drink this." Jongdae handed Kai the bottle.  

He wasted no time opening the cap and taking a large drink. It burned going down, but it definitely helped. Chan made him sit up and get out of the tub. Both he and Jongdae took a few minutes to clean up Kai's face with a wet cloth. He looked like a mess.  

"I-I can't sleep in my bed." Chanyeol nodded at Kai's words and helped him up. Instead of Kai's room, Chanyeol brought him into his own room. He caught a glimpse of Baekhyun looking worried in the hallway, but Kai paid no mind to it. Once on Chanyeol's bed, Kai was out like a light. You'd think it would be hard for him to sleep, but he slept like a baby. Chanyeol tried to leave but Kai grabbed his arm and gave him a desperate look.  

"Alright I'll stay here."  

Chanyeol climbed into the bed and Kai cuddled up to him. Baekhyun came in quietly after to kiss Chanyeol goodnight and went to sleep on the couch in the living room. Hugging Chanyeol was a comfort thing for Kai. They had been best friends since they were very little and that was never going to change. What they had wasn't romantic, but still very strong love. Seeing Kai like this broke Chanyeol's heart.  

 

\---  

 

_When Sehun got home that night Kai couldn't contain himself. He pulled the other into a deep kiss the moment his feet passed over the threshold and pulled their bodies together._

_Sehun stood shocked for a moment, but he was quick to catch up._

_"You missed me that much?" He laughed softly and pressed a few little kisses on Kai's lips. Kai felt so happy he could explode. They made out in the front entry for a few minutes before both could hardly breath and had to pull apart._

_Kai led Sehun into the dining area and motioned at the table."I picked up some Mexican food for dinner." The table was set with two plates full of their favorites (Kai knew what Sehun loved to eat by heart) and had a cute little dinner set up for them. They had the place to themselves for a few hours since Chanyeol went to visit his parents and Jongdae was out with some new person he met at school._

_Tonight was the night Kai finally said it. He had been thinking about saying the 'L' word for over four months now, but his nerves kept getting the best of him. Tonight was their first year anniversary and the perfect night to confess his love._

_"Ugh you're too much." Sehun smiled one of his rare smiles and pulled Kai towards him for another deep kiss._

_They ate their dinner with the radio playing in the background and kept stopping between bites to kiss. Sehun had his hand on Kai's thigh for most of the meal too. It all left Kai feeling light headed and a little drunk on happiness. Drunk on Sehun._

_Sehun wasted no time once they both finished their meals and was pulling Kai towards their bedroom. Kai stopped him and pressed Sehun into the wall._

_Just as Sehun's devious hands started their way up Kai's shirt, he stopped him. "Wait." The taller boy looked a little confused but let his hands fall. "I just, I wanted to tell you,"  Kai felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest, almost like it might explode. He waited so long to finally express how he truly felt, but now that it was time he wished he hadn't said anything at all. Sehun loved him right? He would have broken up with him by now if he didn't right?_

_"What is it tell me." Sehun lifted a hand behind Kai to rub his back gently._

_Kai knew it was now or never._

_"Sehun I-," He paused nervously and took a deep breath, "Sehun I love you."_

_His lids fell closed out of fear. Kai's eyes peaked open again just as Sehun smashed their lips together furiously and pushed Kai back against the opposite wall. A picture frame fell to the ground of Kai, Chanyeol, and Jongdae in middle school but neither of them even noticed. All that matter was the addictive way Sehun was rubbing their bodies together and the rough lip lock._

 

\---  

 

The next morning Kai woke up to a hand petting his hair softly. His eyes opened to find Baekhyun sitting next to him on the bed, a soft smile on his lips. "Time to get up," He whispered in a hushed tone, "I made you some breakfast."  

Kai sighed deeply and enjoyed the feeling of his hair being caressed a moment longer before he got out of bed.  

Byun led him into the living room and set a plate of potatoes, eggs, and bacon in front of him on the coffee table with seaweed soup on the side. Baek knew that Kai preferred to eat in the living room. He tried his best to give Baekhyun a genuine smile and thanked him for making the food. Jongdae was the only other one in the room, sprawled out on the other couch with a book.  

No one spoke while Kai ate his food slowly. Baekhyun stood with a glass of orange juice at the counter and Jongdae carried on reading as if no one else was there. To an outside person it would probably look like they were avoiding Kai, but that wasn't the case.  

They both understood that Kai only got worse with coddling. Pretending like everything was semi-normal was the only way Kai got over anything. He was thankful that they understood him so well.   
Kai assumed that Chanyeol was most likely at work right now in the coffee shop a few blocks over.    
He felt a little relieved, seeing Chanyeol would only make him want to cuddle with his best friend and cry some more.   

Morning turned into afternoon and then that shifted into evening. Kai hardly moved all day. Jongdae eventually left for his classes and then his usual study group, but Byun stayed with him all day. He babbled on and on like he normally did and they sat watching movies and eating junk. In moments like these Kai could see what Chanyeol saw in Baekhyun.  

He's overbearing, loud, brutally honest, and always has some sass to throw at you, but he's also kind and very loving. Baekhyun acted like a father figure and a best friend all in one.   

Kai felt absolutely spoiled with all of the home cooked meals too. Baek made food for him all day and it lifted his spirits more.  

Everything seemed to start calming down again until Baekhyun's phone started buzzing. They were in the middle of one of the mission impossible movies and Byun got up quietly to answer his phone in the hall.  

When he came back Baekhyun seemed more tense. He gave Kai a tender smile and sat down again, but something seemed wrong. After the movie Chanyeol came home with Jongdae and they all had a nice big dinner together as per usual. Chanyeol looked like a love struck fool, staring at Baekhyun wherever he went. He felt so grateful towards his boyfriend for staying with Kai all day, and Kai found it amusing (and kind of depressing) to watch him gaze off dreamily at the tiny diva.   

After dinner Kai went outside to sit and breathe some cool air out in front of the door. He didn't really feel like going for a walk, but it felt good to just relax and look up at the sky.   

He lost track of time just sitting out there by himself when something caught his eye, Turning his head to the left, Kai saw Sehun staring at him. The painful feeling came back again and he froze in place.    
Although he thought Sehun looked the same yesterday, Kai realized in that moment that he didn't.    
Sehun looked older. His eyes had small dark circles under them and his features looked harder than before. In two years he looked like he aged five. What could have happened to him to make him look that way?  

He was still the most beautiful thing Kai had ever seen, just a slightly tweaked version.  

Neither of them broke eye contact as Sehun walked towards him. He slipped down onto the ground beside Kai. The cold wall was down completely again, and Kai could see exactly what Sehun was feeling. longing and agony.   

The look probably mirrored his own.  

Kai wanted to say something. He wanted to scream at Sehun and punch him like the bag of shit he is, but all he could bring himself to do was stare and hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. Sehun didn't have the same control over his tears. He had little rivers flowing down his cheeks and it broke Kai's heart over and over. Did he even have a heart left at this point?   

Sehun's hands were even shaking. He clenched them into fists and bit down on his lower lip to try and get a hold of himself. Kai had only seen that look once, and that had been after one of their biggest fights. Sehun tried to break up with no real reason why. All Kai had to do was beg him to stay and they both ended up having very weird desperate sex until sunrise. He always knew Sehun was keeping something from him then, and deep down Kai knew it was the reason Sehun tried so hard to leave him and then eventually did.  

They sat gazing into each other's eyes for a long time. Minutes, hours, Kai couldn't tell what was real anymore. All that mattered was Sehun and the fact that Kai had him in reaching distance.   

Kai was the first to move, but Sehun wasn't far behind. They both lept at each other and collided together like two cars crashing. Lips against lips, hands fumbling messily, both of them were so rough and quick to touch as much skin as possible.   

The fact that they were just sitting in front of the front door out in the open seemed to pass over both of their heads.   

Both of them were crying freely now. Kai could feel Sehun's lips again. He missed the way they curved with his so easily, he missed how Sehun always ended up crawling into his lap and wrapping his legs around Kai's waist, and he missed kissing Sehun until he couldn't breathe. Sehun's hands found their way up Kai's shirt and in his favorite spot on Kai's bareback. Those cold hands sent shivers down Kai's spine. Everything felt so familiar yet also new again.  

Kai knotted his fingers tightly in Sehun's ash blonde hair and kept their faces close together.  

Once Sehun's devil hands slithered down to Kai's pants, Kai became more aware of their surroundings. "Not here." He huffed in and out and pulled the other's hands up. The taller boy nodded slowly as if he too was just realizing their position and stood up. He pulled Kai up and kept their hands locked together tightly, "Follow me." automatically Kai did as was told.  

They walked the short distance to Baekhyun's apartment (and Sehun's apparently). Kai regained some of his mind again, but he pushed away the voices telling him to stop and go back.  

He had Sehun in his arms again, he wasn't about to walk away from the love of his life.  

Sehun was quick to unlock the door and pull them both inside.  

The sound of the door closing and locking was the last thing Kai remembered before everything got crazy. Almost instantly They were thrashed together again and slipping their hands all along each other.  
Kai's fingers tugged Sehun's shirt up while the taller boy's hands went straight for Kai's jeans.   

When their mouths connected both instantly opened and ate at the other's lips like they hadn't eaten in weeks. It wouldn't surprise either of them if they found bruises around their mouths in the morning.   

"Bed." Sehun broke their kiss only for a moment and then they were making out and stumbling their way into Sehun's bedroom. All of their clothes save for Sehun's pants and Kai's boxers were discarded before they even got into the room. Kai pushed Sehun back onto the bed and paused for a few seconds to take in the sight before him. The other boy was propped up on his elbows on the bed, lips swollen and red, and his naked chest and abdomen just as tight and lean as he remembered.  

Unlike their pace before getting into the bedroom, Kai tried to slow everything down a bit as he undid Sehun's pants. He wanted to enjoy this moment, Oh Sehun naked for him again. Just to be a little shit, Kai kissed along the line of the other's pants very slowly. When they were together Kai used to love going slow motion and teasing Sehun until he started fussing and getting hungry for Kai to touch him more.   

Right now he wanted to keep going slow, but it just wasn't possible after all this time. Kai's speed picked up again  as he pulled the jeans down and off of Sehun.   

The blonde sat up and pulled Kai towards him in a kiss different from their last. This one had less pressure behind it and felt more tender and needy. Sehun pulled himself up onto his knees and kissed Kai in a way that had him craning his neck to reach Sehun's lips. Soft, desperate, and most of all explicitly happy. Their kisses had it all.   

Kai didn't even realize he was crying again until Sehun's hands cupped his cheeks and wiped the tears away.  

All of the emotions weren't just hitting Kai again, Sehun also had tears dripping from his eyes.   
Both of them were feeling all of the agony of the past two years finally fold down. Every touch burned and left their bodies on fire.   

Separately they were both roaring flames, but together they melted into an exploding volcano.    
Kai's lips pulled back slightly with a low hiss as Sehun dug his nails into his back. It hurt, but not in a bad way. His hands went down to the blonde's hips and he held them tightly with thumbs rolling over the protruding bones. Kai remembered that Sehun was very sensitive on his hip bones. Even still, the blonde's breath hiked up.  

Their bodies only separated momentarily for them both to slip off their boxers and cast them aside. Both turned to tangle together again, but they stopped as soon as their eyes met. They paused to soak in the sight of each other naked again. Kai noticed that Sehun had more muscle definition than before, even if it was barely noticeable. Just seeing him in all his glory again made Kai burn inside. He couldn't stop himself from tugging at Sehun and pressing their bare skin together. This felt right.  

Sehun's hips pushed forward against Kai's and both boys made small sounds of satisfaction. The blonde broke off their kiss in favor of pressing his lips into Kai's jaw, then moving down to his neck. Kai panted heavily while his eyelids closed. He relaxed into every kiss on his skin, fell deeper into Sehun. The tall boy started out with just small sweet kisses peppered over Kai's irresistibly tan skin, then he started to nip. The small hum in Kai's throat only encouraged him more.  

When they were together Kai used to always have some kind of mark on his neck. Sehun was the type that loved to mark him up like a dog marking his territory. Looks like that hasn't changed.  

The gentle nips turned into Sehun sucking into his collar bones and biting down on his shoulder. Every bit of it made Kai whine and place firm hands on Sehun's sides just to keep himself from falling over.   
No doubt he would have trails of new marks when all was said and done.   

It took Kai a few moments to think properly, and when he did he put his hands to work. His fingers slithered downward to wrap around Sehun's hard length. He pressed a thumb into the tip and the other had to pause with his assault on Kai's neck to groan softly. Sehun's hips pushed forward for more and Kai was in no position to deny him. His hand moved up and down in a slow and lazy motion.   

Sehun took that time to bring their lips back together. He tried to control the kiss, but with Kai's hand on his manhood it was a miracle he could even move at all. Kai's lips took over easily and he moved their mouths in a rhythm that matched his hand.  

The kiss was messy and all over the place compared to before. Sehun was falling deeper into his ecstasy and Kai felt drunk off of the other.   

When Sehun started to pant and let out a string of moans Kai knew he was close. His hand picked up pace and Kai parted their lips to move his mouth to the blonde's ear. He kissed the soft spot just before his ear and whispered, "cum."  

And he did.  

Sehun let out a loud moan and Kai could have died happy right in that moment. He missed that sound, he missed Sehun always being so god damn loud, and the only thing that could make this better would be Chanyeol banging on the wall to show his disatisfaction in Sehun's vocals. Chanyeol.  

If his best friend were here he wouldn't be banging on the wall, he would be busting the door down and beating the shit out of Sehun for even coming back. He'd probably yell at Kai too for being stupid enough to sleep with Sehun. If Baekhyun ever hurt Chanyeol, that's what Kai would do if this was all reversed. It made him feel a little guilty, but Kai buried those thoughts.  

The other fell forward onto Kai after his orgasm finished and clung onto him tightly. Kai held him just as tightly and let his hands move to wrap around Sehun.   

Their stillness only lasted for a few minutes before Sehun pulled back and gave Kai a smile. Even sitting here and dying to be touched, he still felt like he could cry from seeing that smile again. The taller pushed him to lay back on the bed and Kai obeyed.  

Sehun was about to lean down and kiss Kai again when a thought dawned on him. "Shit." He huffed and Kai lifted his head up.   

"What?" he groaned when the blonde stopped moving. 

Sehun formed a small pout and sighed, "I don't have any lube."  

Kai laughed softly and let his head fall back again. He shuffled to get up and Sehun watched him curiously as the tanned boy got up and left the room. When he came back he had a bottle of lube in hand and a shit eating grin.  

"Baekhyun always has a few bottles stashed somewhere by his bed." Sehun chuckled and Kai moved back onto the bed as he pressed a kiss into the side of Sehun's neck. The blonde tried to take the bottle, but Kai shook his head. "Let me do it."  

Kaimissed this portion more than he wanted to admit. He coated his fingers and gave Sehun a meaningful look. Softly he splayed kisses over the other's milky white thighs and circled his fingers around Sehun's hole. He was gentle to slide the first finger in, lips tender as ever. Sehun shivered as the first went in and let out a jagged breath. He was so tight. Kai only ever felt him this tight when they first started sleeping together (they fucked like bunnies) and his member throbbed just thinking about it.   
Kai started by gently thrusting his digit in and out, carefully adding a second. He slowed down when Sehun tensed up a bit and gave more attention to his already re-hardening cock. Kai's tongue ran up the length of it to calm the other down, and it did a magnificent job. Sehun relaxed into the bed again and Kai pulled his fingers in and out at a growing pace.   

When the third went in Sehun took it better and remained mostly still. He did yelp softly, but Kai hushed him again by wrapping his lips around the head of the taller's dick.   

Soft pale hands slipped into Kai's hair and he finally pushed a fourth finger in.  

By now Sehun was enjoying the fingers with his discomfort fading. When Kai saw him arch his back off of the bed he knew he found the sweet spot and stopped.   

Lusting eyes followed his movements as Kai took the bottle of lube of coated his hard member. They never used a condom before, and neither boy had any intention to start now. Kai placed his fingers on Sehun's hips and gingerly pushed his legs up into a bending position and brought his body closer.    
The tip of his burning cock touched Sehun's entrance and both boys froze in place. Kai took that moment to just look at Sehun, to let his eyes speak for him. All of the agony of the past two years was so apparent in his eyes, Kai practically had it tattooed on his forehead.  

And just like that he pushed in. Everything was hot and tight and Kai nearly came right then. He didn't dare move as he collected himself again and leaned down towards the blonde. He locked their lips together as Kai's hips started to move in a slow pace. The boy under him gripped at his shoulders and lifted his head up to meet Kai into the kiss. Their lips moved at the pace of his hips and both were so lost in each other.   

When Kai started to rub Sehun's hips he let out this ungodly moan. His voice cracked and it rang against the walls, and Kai missed that sound so much.   

Coming into the apartment they had been so frantic and quick to throw off their clothes, but now they were nothing but slow and passionate. Kai treated Sehun like fine china that could break at any moment. Both of them wanted to savor this fragment in time.   

The pace of his hips picked up more, and Kai grunted into their kiss. Their lips parted when Sehun threw his head back into the bed and let out another loud moan. His hands clenched tightly onto Kai's biceps and his nails dug into the skin.   

Kai's lips took to Sehun's neck and he bit at it sloppily between grunts and keeping his hips in a steady pace. Before he could have gone all night like this, but after two years of no sex Kai was reaching his end already. Both boys were absolute messes as his hips bucked forward faster. Kai was just barely coherent enough to wrap a hand around Sehun's member and pump it quickly with each thrust.   
Kai was the first to cum and the blonde followed only seconds after. Both let out loud (probably loud enough for the fucking neighbors to hear) moans that made the orgasm just that much better. The tanned boy collapsed on top of Sehun, still inside of him, and panted heavily.  

Even after recovering they didn't dare move. Sehun's long arms rested over Kai's back and held him tightly as if he would disappear if Sehun let go. Kai took that time to rest his ear over the other's heart and listen to its soft song.   

He still had so much to say.  

Where have you been?  

Were you with someone else?  

Have you been eating right?  

Are you getting enough sleep?  

All of his questions were out of worry for Sehun's well being, but one other question also lingered in his mind and it pained Kai to think about it.  

Why did you leave?  

But he didn't have a chance to ask a single one, both he and Sehun fell asleep from exhaustion.  

 

\---  

 

_During the school semesters Sehun and Kai were always together. In the apartment, at the coffee shop Chanyeol worked in, or even out exploring, they were always together._

_When school was out for summer or breaks though Kai was alone. Sehun still slept with him every night, but he rarely woke up with Sehun. He explained that his parents dominated his breaks, but that only upset Kai more. They had been together for a year already and yet he hadn't met Sehun's parents once. Was there something wrong with him? Are they homophos?_

_He didn't have the answer and he was too scared to ask Sehun._

_Tonight he was going to do it though. Normally he didn't even bother waiting up for Sehun, but tonight he sat in the living room and watched the door. There was no way the taller boy was going to bed without giving Kai an explination._

_Chanyeol and Jongdae went to bed hours ago (it was nearly 1 in the morning) and Kai felt like giving up just as the door opened quietly._

_He could tell Sehun was confused seeing him up still, because he jumped when his eyes saw the tanned boy on the couch._

_"Jesus Kai you scared the shit out of me." He sighed to calm himself and walked over to his boyfriend, "What are you still doing up Jongin?" Only Sehun ever called him that, Jongin. Kai never liked his birth name much, but hearing the blonde say it made his heart beat faster._

_Kai wrapped his arms around his boyfriend as the other sat down on his lap. He pressed a kiss into the blonde's lips before letting out a deep sigh._

_"I need to ask you something that's been bothering me."_

_Sehun's arms circled around the tanned boy's neck, looking at him confused. "What is it babe?"_

_Kai swallowed, "Why is it that I've never met your parents?" He looked away from Sehun to avoid eye contact, "And where do you go all day? I hardly see you when school's on break."_

_The taller boy stiffened in his arms and took a deep breath. "Kai I love you," He carded one of his hands through his boyfriend's hair, "But this is something I don't want to talk about with you."_

_And there it was, Kai felt stupid for thinking Sehun would ever tell him. He was ashamed of Kai, that was plain as day. It boiled his blood._

_He pushed Sehun off of his lap and stood up with a dark look in his eyes, "Of course you don't want to talk," He threw his arms up in frustration, "You never want to talk about anything important."_

_"Please don't turn this into a fight," Sehun brought his hands up to rub his face, "I'm too tired for this shit right now Jongin."_

_A stab pierced Kai's chest. "You're tired?" He laughed bitterly and folded his arms over his chest, "How do you think I feel? I've woken up every morning for the past three weeks alone, with no idea where you are. I call you and you never pick up. Then you come home late at night just to sleep in the same bed." He paused to wipe away a few angry tears. "I'm fucking tired of this."_

_Sehun looked shocked for a moment, but that quickly turned into a scowl. "I can't tell you Jongin," He bit back, "What do you want me to do about it!?" The rise in his voice made Kai jump._

_The yell was loud enough to wake Chanyeol and Jongdae._

_"I thought I meant more to you than that." He whispered quietly. Everything hurt inside. He should have never brought this up in the first place. A relationship filled with secrets was better than a broken one. "I'm going to bed." Kai turned to walk away. He wanted to go to bed and just forget any of this happened._

_"Don’t you walk away from me." Sehun growled and grabbed Kai's arm, "You can't start this and just walk away." The fire in his eyes danced dangerously, enough so to only make Kai more angry._

_"I can't pretend I'm okay with this anymore." He pulled his arm free, "It hurts too much."_

_This time Sehun didn't stop Kai when he walked down the hall to their shared room. He stripped off his shirt and pants and went straight to bed._

_Kai laid in the darkness for an hour, unable to sleep, when Sehun finally came in. He took off his clothes and crawled in on his side of the bed. Both of them remained silent for a few minutes before the blonde cracked._

_He scooted close to Kai and wrapped and arm around him. His tears wet the tanned boy's back. Kai tried to ignore it, but he eventually cracked too. He turned around in the bed and pulled Sehun against his che, petting his hair softly to comfort him._

_"I'm s-sorry." Sehun mumbled against his skin, "I wish I could tell you."_

_"Shhhh." Kai wiped away the tears and planted a tender kiss into Sehun's forehead. "I know baby."_

_And just like that, Kai went back to pretending everything was okay again._

 

\--- 

 

The loud slam of the bedroom door woke up the two boys tangled together on Sehun's bed. They blinked to focus their eyes and found an angry Chanyeol glaring at them. 

"What the fuck," He grumbled low and directed his eyes towards Sehun, "Do you think you're doing?"  
Shit. 

Chanyeol started to walk towards the naked blonde, but Kai was quick to jump up and stop him with a hand to his best friend's chest. He looked at Kai like he was crazy, "Chanyeol please don't." He gave him pleading eyes, hoping his best friend to understand. 

"He left you Kai." Chanyeol's orbs were filled with sadness and confusion. "He can't just come back into life whenever he pleases." 

"Chan please just," Kai moved his hand and pointed to the door, "go. I'll talk to you later." 

Chanyeol looked conflicted, but he turned on his heel and left anyway, but not before throwing one more hateful glare at Sehun. He knew Kai was making a huge mistake, but Kai needed to see that for himself.  
"Jongin-" 

Kai shook his head and stopped him, "Don't call me that." He stood up off of the bed and grabbed his boxers, pulling them up. "I had a moment of weakness Sehun." He sighed and kept his eyes anywhere but at the blonde still in the bed, "But this doesn't change anything." 

He found his pants by the door and pulled them on as well. 

"You left me without a word," He stopped out of the room and grabbed his shirt off of the floor before leaving. Baekhyun was in the living room with Chanyeol, but Kai ignored both of them as he tugged on his shirt and left. 

Silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he walked back to his apartment. 

For two years he stayed with Sehun through all of the lies and secrets, and two years after he left Kai still pined after him. Last night woke him up to the cold reality that he could never forgive Sehun. He loved him to the point it hurt, but Kai couldn't be with him again. He was given the gift of one more night, but no more. 

"Goodbye Oh Sehun." He mumbled to himself and unlocked the door to his apartment, going in without a pause. 

 

\- 

 

After watching a couple of the Star Wars movies alone, Kai felt numb. He had chip bags and empty wrappers piled in the coffee table, and he was wrapped up tightly in a soft blanket in his pjs. His day consisted of staying at home all day alone while crying and eating. Even he found himself to be rather pathetic. 

Around six o'clock his phone buzzed next to him. Kai glanced over to see Baekhyun's contact picture on his screen. He picked it up with a huff and answered. 

"What is it?" He sounded rather annoyed, but Baekhyun ignored his tone. 

"Dinner's ready, you better be here in twenty minutes or I'm going to come over there and drag you myself." The little diva was not in the mood to play games. 

Kai groaned and muttered a quick okay before snapping his phone shut. He got up and walked sluggishly into his room to tug on some decent clothes, jeans and a t-shirt, and pulled on a jacket before he headed out to Baekhyun's apartment. 

If Baekhyun was forcing him to come over it meant that Sehun wasn't there, otherwise the diva would have just made them eat dinner in their place instead. 

Kai would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous to face his closest friends, especially Chanyeol. He just hoped that his best friend wouldn't be too mad at him for sleeping with Sehun, and then defending him.  
As he neared the apartment building Byun lived in, he slowed his walking to pull his emotions together.

No doubt Baekhyun kicked out Sehun after Kai left, probably with a lot of encouragement from Chanyeol. There was no way Chanyeol would allow Sehun to live under the same roof as his little love.

He would kill the blonde before allowing that to happen. 

He didn't even bother to knock on the door, swinging it open as soon as his hand touched the knob. Baekhyun never locked the door unless he was home alone or going out. 

"Hey guys-" He started, but paused as soon as he looked at the couch in the living room. 

Chanyeol sat on one side of the couch, and on the other was Sehun. Kai was frozen to the spot. In his shock, Jongdae pulled Kai inside and shut the door. 

"What is he doing here?" Kai asked in a cold tone. He looked at both Jongdae and Chanyeol with bafflement. 

Baekhyun poked his head out from the kitchen when he heard Kai's voice. He walked out and pulled the tan boy's hand into his own and gave him a small smile. "You two have a lot to talk about." He pet his friend's hand tenderly. 

Kai looked at him with confusion before turning back to Chanyeol and Sehun. "What the hell is going on?" His cold was resolve was beginning to crumble. Kai felt like crying again. 

"Just go talk in the bedroom," Chanyeol stood up and pulled Sehun with him by the arm, "You can come out for dinner when you're done." He squeezed Sehun's arm hard, causing the blonde to flinch, before shoving him towards Kai. 

This was all too confusing for him to handle. Sehun bit his lip and walked towards the hall without looking back. Jongdae nudged Kai to follow. 

Once the door was closed to Sehun's room, Kai sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed his eyes in frustration. 

"Sehun what the hell is going on?" He looked up with tired eyes and a frown, "Why are here?"  
"Please just don't talk," Sehun ran a hand through his hair nervously, "Let me talk and when I'm done you can decide what to do next." 

Kai was scared, terrified even, but he nodded his head. As much as he wanted to just walk away, he deserved an explanation. He deserved an explanation two years ago. 

Sehun let out a puff of air before sitting down on the ground with his legs folded. He didn't look Kai in the eyes while he spoke, "I was born into a family with a lot of expectations," He started with his voice low, just barely audible in the quiet room. 

"I'm an only child, and as such all of the responsibility fell onto my shoulders. My grandfather started the hotel business when he was young, and then my father inherited it from him. Since I was born I've been expected to take over next. 

I struggled with my father my whole life, and when I graduated from high school he finally let up on me.  
He promised to let me what I wanted during school, so long as I majored in business and worked at the company on breaks. I met you the first week of school in dance. I took it for fun because I always loved dance, but my father never approved of it. 

After a month of dating you my dad told me he found a good match for me. He made an arrangement to merge his company with another, but it could only happen if I agreed to be put into an arranged marriage with the chairman's daughter. 

Our wedding date was set for two years, but I couldn't bring myself to let go of you. I stayed with you thinking I would figure something out eventually. I was stupid to think that." 

Sehun took a small pause to wipe away a few stray tears, taking in a jagged breath to calm himself down. 

"My father found out about you a little before our first year anniversary. He threatened me to end it and focus on my future or else he would make your life a living hell. My father had the connections to ruin your dreams of being a dancer. 

I begged him to let me stay with you until my wedding day, and he agreed so long as I never told you anything. That's why I could never tell you anything. 

When my wedding day came I left because I loved you too much to ruin your life. I married that girl because it meant you could have a future, even if it was without me. 

I tried to make my marriage work, but she was lifeless. I felt myself dying inside." 

Sobs rose in his throat, tears flowing freely down Sehun's red cheeks. It was then that Kai realized he was crying too. 

"But a month ago my father died." He let out a small laugh through his tears. 

"He died and I filed for divorce. I've left everything behind, my family, my money, everything I've ever known, with the stupid hope that I could be with you again. 

When I moved in with Baekhyun I had no idea he was Chanyeol's boyfriend, I chose this place because it was close to yours. I knew there was a chance you had moved on, but I had to try or else I would never forgive myself." 

He was clenching his knuckles tightly, Sehun's body shaking lightly, "But then I saw you when I came home that night, and I knew you suffered just as badly as I did." 

Sehun sat up on his knees and wrapped his arms around Kai while he cried out. He stopped talking for a few minutes while he sobbed and sobbed, and soon the room was filled with both of their crying and choking sobs. 

Kai cupped Sehun's cheeks and pulled him to look into his eyes. "You idiot." He whispered and pressed their foreheads together. 

Their lips came together slowly, moving in a gentle motion. Kai pulled back only for a brief moment to mumble, "I love you Sehunnie." 

Sehun laughed and kissed Kai again, "I love you too Jongin."

____________________________________________________

**Author's Note:**

> prequel for baekyeol [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7343251)  
> 


End file.
